an awkward cross of feet
accidental close of hands
as we reach for something
at the same time
eyes custodial as tombs
do not look at the face
it may return an intonation
and we answer in our habits only
to toll of metal bells
an awkward cross of feet
accidental close of hands
as we reach for something
at the same time
eyes custodial as tombs
do not look at the face
it may return an intonation
and we answer in our habits only
to toll of metal bells
Lovely 😉
Thank you, Hadel
You are most welcome.
This is deadly serious and Winnie and myself are wondering how much it has to do with the day that’s in it. We think a lot.
Harry
Yes, Winnie and Harry, it is rather dark but I don’t want to say more because each reader has an individual way of seeing and interpreting.
Thank you both.
John
Wow… This has darkness in it…
Rajiv,
Thank you for reading and commenting
My best to you
John
Coldly compelling… ‘eyes custodial as tombs.’ What a way with words you have.
Thank you, Kate, for the praise and for reading.
My best to you
John
Brother John,
these lines…
“do not look at the face
it may return an intonation”
Made me fan of your poems!! Truely .. full of surprise and actions “which you can’t control or describe”.
Always love to ready your marvellous creations! 🙂
Be Bettr, Stay Bettr! 🙂
Swetank 😉
Brother Swetank,
You are always with me in spirit
John
“eyes custodial as tombs” —instantly grabbed my attention. Peace.
Thank you, Dennis,
I always appreciate your responses more than you know.
My best to you
John
Peace, John/ –Dennis
Great word use in your lovely-somewhat dark poem, John. Have a beautiful day. 🙂
Elizabeth,
So good of you to read and respond – thank you.
I hope all is well with you
John
This spare and understated poem stimulates the imagination.
There is an underlying current here, suggesting an intriguing
link between these two individuals. You have evoked a very
interesting scenario John. I love their quiet movement: deliberate,
conspiratorial or accidental, I cannot decide.
Wonderful, Dear Angela, to hear from you after so long. Thank you for reading (I know how busy you are) and for taking the time to write this thoughtful comment.
Best to you now and ever
John
I am looking forward to becoming immersed as before,
peerless Poet.
John, an amazing work and tribute. The voice and visual images you have created with your word choices, brilliant, starting with the very first line, “an awkward cross of feet”. Each line thereafter equally delicate, yet told with such strength, so suggestive of tragedy and loss, most startling because it is so powerful. My compliments to you on such a very emotional and moving piece. Thank you.
Warm wishes,
Pepper
Pepper,
Your support means a great deal.
Your reading and commenting are so valuable to me you’ve no idea.
Thank you
John
My favorite lines:
accidental close of hands
as we reach for something
This feels like the wound caused by a dull, but effective blade.
Gina,
That comment, the wound caused by a dull but effective blade is so relevant it’s almost uncanny.
Thank you, My Friend
John
A very well penned poem as per usual, dear John. Powerful poetic images…
I like this one vey much!, thanks for sharing and best wishes, Aquileana 😀
Dear Aquileana,
I’m happy you liked the poem even if it is rather grim and somewhat dark.
I hope all is well with you and I look forward to your next posting.
Warmest wishes
John
no words, just brilliant!
Mihrank,
Thank you
Generous as always
My best to you
John
Very sad, John; beautifully done description of a bleak relationship past all communication. “eyes custodial as tombs,”brilliant!
Willow,
Such a lovely comment even if the work is rather bleak.
Thank you as ever
John
Well, sometimes bleak topics rise up and demand to be poems–certainly I’ve written my share. And they can be as universal as any other topics; I’m sure we can all relate to this one.
The separation is complete. So sad. And yet you express it with such beauty
Myra,
You see wonderfully, such a mature and wise response.
Thank you, My Friend,
John
Did you meant marriage in the last line?
Thank you, Sherinsk, for reading and responding, I appreciate it very much. Each reader is free to interpret as she or he wishes. My best to you
John
Dark and deep, your poem made me think and wonder. Yet, I can not decide..
You are so talented John!
Indah,
Thank you for the praise, i appreciate it truly. And thank you for taking the time to read my work.
Big hugs
john