In pidgin-English I’m known as
‘Fella belong Mrs Queen’
You listen to my calls and read my mail
and i know who you see and what you say.
There is no honour among thieves such as us, and no trust.
We’re not friends, only partners when it’s mutually convenient.
Friendships are like taxes – for little people.
If i do little or nothing to put my house in order
and then spend my life begging others for help
i am ridiculous.
Fashion is what you adopt
when you don’t know who you are.
Burning people alive is nothing new.
Of course it’s barbaric and completely unacceptable but not new.
The savages of the Inquisition told hundreds of their victims
that burning them alive would save them the torments of Hell.
What comfort that must have been!
Trust me my child
my penis contains holy milk
a gift from on high
and my duty as humble servant of the Lord
is to share it with you.
Priest in Brazil currently under investigation
for sexual misconduct
The Irish are a fair people –
they never speak well of one another.
The most interesting thing about Schoenberg’s music is
you never know what’s coming next, if anything at all.
One of our worst faults is giving ourselves rights we don’t have.
Don’t be too hard on ASBOs,
those are the only letters they have after their names.