in a not quite enough private gap
between one high lego and the next
the imported lad with his motorblade
buzz cuts to first day of Wimbledon priss
the grass the one incautious housewife
bounces from her 11th floor kitchen breadrolls on
for pigeon and mynah queueing up under
DON’T FEED THE BIRDS
order order!
this house will come to order
bottlebrush tops strait waists
skirts stiff as marble
twelve palms six sinister six right
stand wallflower waiting for a wind
too busy fanning mischief on Sumatra
and conditioning the Cameron Highlands
to come and gentlemanly ask for
a not so close if you don’t mind slow dance
For me this piece has a fine balance between those grown old and too comfortable and those for whom age is a time to dispense with insignificant rules and routines.
I like your structure here, John, and your carefully chosen words. Excellent poetry.
Thank you, Chris
For this fine sensitive and professional response.
Always
John
So many great lines and imagery, John…another excellent piece of work.
Sending hugs,
Lauren
Thank you, Lauren
for this lovely warm response
Much love
john
Brother John – I have to admit that this was one of the more difficult poems for me to comprehend because of my ignorance. Basically I get this as being two contrasting landscapes that express opposite views , one irreverent and one conventional. I tried to put way too much emphasis on Wimbledon as an event rather than an adjective. Once I figured out what a bottlebrush was, I was off to the races. Love the irony of:
the grass the one incautious housewife
bounces from her 11th floor kitchen breadrolls on
for pigeon and mynah queueing up under
DON’T FEED THE BIRDS
and the vivid imagery of the bottlebrushes that:
stand wallflower waiting for a wind
too busy …
to come and gentlemanly ask for
a not so close if you don’t mind slow dance
These are two attitudes that both inhabit the personality of the old man. Profound as always.
Brother David
You do me proud here and your response is right on the money.
I admit, not the easiest of poems to digest but i was aiming for brevity
and succinctness.
Thank You
Love to You and Diane
Always our brother
john